Friends... leaving and staying... the same but different

We have a bench at school. It’s in the perfect place. Catches the breeze, kids walk by, we meet there, us moms, to visit and share our experiences in this amazing India. A friend of mine sat on the bench at school, it was early Feb, she was saying how she really didn’t like this time of year because it was when everyone got notice of their re-relocation. I kept mumm because we were still in the air about our “moving back news”… now we are not…

The impending move (my mind says “impending doom” with a touch of “leap of joy”) has slowly taken over the quiet reaches of our thoughts… sure, school, routine, grocery shopping, vacation, visit from Grandma & Papa are in the fore-front of our thoughts… but we are needing to get those ducks in a row. Starting NOW.

My friends who are “left behind” are taking inventory. It’s hard to be left behind. It was ages ago, in a different country, but we have been in that position. There is a gap left when your friends leave. It’s a little bit more pronounced in the expat life because friends are really special. It’s a kind of “intense friendship” – you hit it off and hit the ground running. Networks and friends become instant extended family. It’s a survival thing, with meaning.

I’m sounding a bit sappy but it’s true. The ironic thing is you get closer when you get that date set… your friends are there to buy your stuff, unload your junk, help you focus in the shopping frenzy, and take your kids when you need them out of the way. They help you juggle. Expat friends are amazing.

This is in no way to say our friends stateside are anything less… they are the same. We have super friends that are also our extended family… every Christmas Eve. It was a tradition. We sorely missed them this year at Christmas, the first day of school, the snow day we missed… It’s the same, but different. Moves state-side are often one friend out of a group of a dozen. Expat moves are about 50% of the group leaving in one fell-swoop. It's hard.

It’s hard to re-patriate. Things have changed state-side. We may be going back to the same house/same school… but it will be different. We have changed (boy, have we had some new experiences) so have our friends. It’s like we’ve been living in a parallel universe. It’ll be the same, but different.

So in the next few months we will open each cabinet and take a mental inventory of what should be tossed (I KNOW I only did this a year ago), we will cherish the fun & fantastically unique Indian experiences with friends and we will know that it is hard… leaving and staying….